InsaneJournal

Current mood:	tired
Current music:	annwn
Entry tags:	fantasy, fragment, old, poem

An ancient fragment

Right. My mothers' cat hates me. I'm going back to school on the 25th, and he's peed in one of my cardboard boxes. I can't figure out why it's always MY stuff he feels the urge to piss on, but I'll do my level best to move into some other place next summer..

Anyway, one of the losses was an old blank diary I apparently started to write some pseudo- Lovecraftian/alice/Thing in. I'm just going to copy it in as is and pitch the original. Green ink. Apparently 2002..

Continuity errors abound!! A no-prize for spotting them all!! Plus there's no ending. By which I mean that it just kind of stops.

**__**

Feb 12, 200

This little book has been floating around for several years. Now I have something to put in it.

I realize that this would be ascribed to a dream by all but the most -- openminded of my fellows, but I swear that I was not only awake, but in my own body, unappealing as it is.

I was wandering in an old, disused part of my family's home, down a long passageway, when I found and decided to crawl through a crevice I found in a wall. Once I entered the narrow passage, I seemed stuck, and remained so for a few moments, when I was violently pushed out into open air.

At first, I couldn't see, but soon enough, I saw that it was dawn on a wide, open field or prairie. My arms were over my head, as I was still falling and I was so very far from the ground anyway.

I glanced up to see a rope falling with me, but also moving quite a bit slower than I was. I debated, I suppose, for that is the only way to explain the almost painful slowness with which I grasped the rope and the slight assistance.

When I speak of this rope, do not think that I am talking about a 'regular' rope, that would or could be found in any sporting goods store or garage. It was a huge thing, perhaps the kind used on ships, but I don't know. Both of my hands were wrapped around it, but they were not large enough to completely encircle it. My hands were resting just above a large knot that, even though by the size of the rope should have been wider than the space between my arms, fit neatly between my elbows.

I lifted myself up onto the knot. Most of me was still hanging, but had slowed down, at least. I looked down again and realized that I wasn't really going anywhere anymore. I was stuck.

I looked above me, and noticed that the rope didn't seem to have an end at the top, but I knew that if I tried to climb it, and go back to the hallway, that the rope would collapse, and I would most certainly be crushed beneath it. I hung there for a short while, watching the plain below me. It looked peaceful, but I knew that couldn't be true. It also seemed empty, though there were houses and gardens.

It was getting cold, and I was getting a sort of empty, hollow feeling that I supposed I might find a remedy for Down There, somehow. I wanted to let go, and yet I didn't. I looked up again with some regret, and hugged my rope again as if to say goodbye to a real person. With some regret, I again extended my arms, and let go of my rope.

My arms were still extended as I fell again, this time slower than when I first came out of the crevasse in my mother's house, but faster, of course, than when I held onto my rope.

I looked up, not wishing to see the ground come up at me, and saw the most beautiful sky I had ever seen. I thought it strange that I had just come from there and didn't remember it being so bright or sparkley.

Looking down again, I noticed how light the fields were becoming. I could see patterns in the ground, and the few bodies of water I saw, and the houses with their gardens.

I saw something else floating and decided to try to grab onto it so I could see where I was going. There was something familiar about them, but I couldn't place it at first.

It was a sort of beige disk and I caught hold easily. I felt a very little bit warmer at once, but still felt somewhat empty.

The thing was somewhat fleshy, but I was much more interested in what was below me. Ignoring the sense that there was some sort of basic intelligence and self-satisfaction to the thing, I concentrated on the ground, where I hopefully would find a cure for the empty pit in my heart.

Upon inspection, it seemed that there really wasn't anyplace that was obviously better or worse than any other. I would just have to wander about in order to find whatever I was looking for.

I looked up at the sky one more time just in case I never saw it like that again and suddenly realized exactly what it was I had been holding onto. It was a conical disk with a hole st the center. Horrified at the disembodied thing, I let go, hoping for a safe landing, but at this point, not really caring.

I heard a sort of thump, and woke some time later. It was dusk.

The first place I came to was a sort of park, I guess. There was a gazebo, connected to a larger pavilion by a stone path. A couple was just coming out for an evening walk, when the noticed me and asked me to come walk with them.

This couple was quite odd in appearance. They were both very intelligent, though only one would tell you so, and they were part of a well-established family whose culture and good breeding were renowned.

Despite their manner, I found the couple's appearance disturbing. The woman was in a cage which she stayed in for the sake of her husband, though she wore the key around her neck.

The man seemed quite pleased with this situation, though I couldn't understand why, since he himself was actually very small and crippled, but 'wore' a contraption that served as a sort of front. The legs of the man upper portion of the fronts' legs were hollow, so that his real feet and calves could fit, and there was a seat suspended from the back of the thing's torso.

Leaves and buttons filled the back, and even his voice was made to come out of the mannequin. In all, it was rather disturbing. He got angry when I tried to direct my self to questions to him instead of the front, and this upset his wife, also. She indignantly told me to take the left hand path, and the couple left the park.

I walked the park for a few minutes, wondering if I should do as she had said, or take the most likely road.

There were several paths. Some were broad and well-traveled, a few were no more than footpaths. I closed my eyes and turned around three times, whichever path I stopped at was the one I would take. When I opened my eyes again, I saw a path that was no more than beaten down grass. I had a very bad feeling about it, but decided to go ahead unless it got too bad, then I could turn back.

It was OK at first. Rather pleasant, actually. Then I saw the signs of a predator. A woman's garment was lying in the path. There was blood next to it, and a deep depression in the ground.

I turned to run back, but then I saw a young man in white approaching. He called out, asking what I was looking for. In a tree above the path,I saw a woman with sad eyes looking down at me. She looked very ill, and I could see branches through her.

I told the man that I was there to see my friend, he seemed surprised, saying that the only real person there was himself.

I watched him walk over a hill and dissapear. He did not return, and I ran back the way I had come. On finding myself back in the park, I told another cage/facade couple what I had seen, and they said that the gentleman was a local humanitarian and most likely was taking care of it.

Asamed of my unreasoning fear, I decided to find the man to apologize and offer any assistance.

I took the next path. Far more of a road than the last one, it was beset eventual by st -led to an open area where a large number of men and women were having some sort of party.

I took the next path. Far more of a road than the last one, it stopped only when I was well outside of town, and the path ended at a door, like a house door, in a garden fence.

When I knocked, the young man who answered was overjoyed to see me. I was surprised to see that Most of the men and women on the other side were dressed in strange clothes, and all were taking turns dancing. He pulled me inside.

I as was escorted across the field yard to a table entirely surrounded by women, where my escort left me.

**--**

And a bonus poem

**--**

August 28, 2000

--

Alone of all her race

banished from her home

She cannot seem to find her place

Or find a second home

Long ago she asked for help

It was denied, it seems

It time perhaps she'll find the wealth

To finish out her dreams